A brochure on gambling in the City of London.

Forget Las Vegas, forget trying to break the bank at Monte Carlo.  London’s fabulous Las Altas Finanzas has it all.  From key locations where high rollers play for the biggest stakes, to small independent bookmakers and even a metaphysical betting stand. If it’s largely determined by luck or unprovable but fun, Las Altas is the place for you. 

If you are interested in complex financial products check out the exchanges.  These epitomise the final stages of our heady capitalist society. If more traditional stocks and shares are your thing check out the London Stock Exchange, where you can mingle with brokers who think they know it all.  Want to get right up to date what about trying your hands at spread betting.  Sports fan? Why not check out the myriad of betting shops where you back a horse, your favourite football team or even the outcome of the X-Factor.  Thinking slightly more spiritually then don’t miss Prophette and Shaman.  The world’s first and only Metaphysical Bookmakers where you can put money where your beliefs are.

The City of London, the “square mile” is anything but.  Still in its heyday following the “big bang” inspired casino banking explosion of 1980’s, it was here that the high rollers placed the biggest bets that brought the banks to their knees.  AIG, Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns & Co. all made bets at the markets in London creating the unparalleled atmosphere you can still enjoy today. IG spread betting set up shop in 1988 to let you bet on things you have no stake in.  Innovations have just kept coming.  So you know if your are in Las Altas you are at the forefront of gambling activity anywhere in the world.

Use this handy guide to navigate your way round the best of Las Altas’ betting attractions.  Soak up the atmosphere where fearless traders bet on anything from traditional mortgage defaults, food price collapse, retail crashes, bankruptcy of local governments and institutions, horses, football teams and the afterlife.

Don’t think you have got what it takes to succeed in these markets?  Think again.  Evidence shows that the pattern of winners and losers in financial markets is mostly explained by luck. Literally there are so many players in London you will always find some lucky punter for whom everything just seems to work out.  It’s simply luck. If you win you can tell all your friends that it’s your strategy, your smarts.  If you lose just chalk another one up to lady luck.

How it works (On back fold)

The loosest slots (Shares)

Shares are to Las Altas what slots are to Vegas.  Ever popular, everyone‘s into it.  Think the guy who picks the top performing shares year after year is some super financial whizzo genius.  He’s not.  He’s just like you and me.  Markets mostly move in unpredictable ways. But with so many players, so much activity you will inevitably see patters where there are none.  It’s like a great big hall in which thousands of people are tossing coins.  If we let them toss often enough were going to see some “surprises”. A guy throwing lots of heads in a row. Lots and lots. Don’t be fooled into thinking he’s special.  He isn’t.  It could just as well be you.  So get in there my son.  Have some of that.  You have to be in it to win it.   

Poker Fun (Options, Futures and Swaps)

Clever punters don’t waste their time on the slots.  They know it’s all just noise.  Head over to the other exchanges.  Legalised gambling?  Insurance gone crazy?  In Las Altas the clever punters don’t waste their time on online casinos or at the racecourse. The big money comes from selling derivatives, allowing others to gamble on the outcome of something they have no stake in.  It’s like insurance only far more exciting.  Say you believe that your neighbour’s house will burn down this year.  Your neighbour has insurance which means that if his house burns down he will get compensation.  If he has insurance your neighbour is making a bet that his house will burn down, and pocketing the winnings if it does.  He’s happier, but could anything be more dull?  Why not make it more exciting why don’t YOU bet that YOUR neighbours’ house will burn down? It might be worth a punt, after all, if his house burns down your’s might catch fire.  But let’s go to the next level.  Imagine you can insure yourself for 10 times the value of your house if your neighbour’s house burns down and yours goes up as well? (Match anyone?).

Or imagine you could insulate or isolate your house so that if you neighbour's house burns, yours is protected, but still get ten times the compensation if his burns down.  Or better still why not bet on a house burning down in a different city? Why not the whole city? The remoter the better.  See where we are going with this? There is no risk to you and you gain from the misfortune of others just by taking part.  But don’t try this with your house insurer, they won’t let you.  Meanies! Which is why Las Altas is so special.  It’s like the house burning example on nitro glycerin. The outcomes you can bet on are limitless and the bookies that take these bets are gagging for more. They will let you bet on almost anything.

So what’s the catch?  Well as they say there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes.  You are going to die, I’m going to die, but while we are living you can bet we’ll be paying taxes.  Those taxes are the key ingredient (the nitro glycerin).  The banks can take on these risks because they know that at the end of the day they are “To Big To Fail” and governments will step in when the casino finally closes its doors*.  In the meantime enjoy the ride, it might not last very long….

Endnote: Many people worked very hard to sweep away to the red tape and bureaucracy so that Las Altas could be the special place it is today.  So don’t forget that although those bankers are certainly key players, they are supported by an unsung cast of sleepy officials and special interests who continue to work hard to make it happen.

*to make this all easier the banks make the bets as complex and obscure as possible.  That way by the time anyone figures out that this is all a big fun experiment in misery making, the party will be over.